The death of being a rock star – welcome to the cubicle

If you’ve read my blog here and there you know I love music. And, I don’t typically stick to any one genre of tunes, I tend to like, or at least appreciate, all types. At home, in the car and in the cube odds are I’ve got something playing to either enhance/change my mood or to drown out the drone of my fellow cube dwellers.

Way back when I even toyed with taking guitar lessons in hopes that one day I may rock the stage. Unfortunately, my dream of becoming the next Stevie Ray Vaughn died…although I can play a mean steering wheel drum solo on the commute still.

As I’ve grown older I’ve come to appreciate the lyrics of songs more. And, then I thought, “hey what the hell…maybe I can combine my love of music and my awesome writing skills (sarcasm intended) to create a song about work.”

So, without further ado (hee hee, I said “do”) I bring you Welcome to the Cubicle (to the tune of Guns N’ Roses, Welcome to the Jungle).

A 1, a 2, a 1, 2, 3, 4…

Welcome to the cubicle
We lack fun and games
We’ve got nothing that you want
And, your coworkers are lame
We are the people that find
Faults in whatever you do
If you want the money honey
Uncle Sam’s got news for you

<Chorus>
In the cubicle, welcome to the cubicle
PTO’s what you’ll
Na na na need, need

He want’s to watch you plead

Welcome to the cubicle
We take it day by day
If you wanna get that raise
Then you’re gonna have to beg
And you’re a very sexy girl
Who likes to wear short skirts
HR’s gonna hate you
And the boss will treat you like dirt
In the cubicle
Welcome to the cubicle
My boss’ll break my, my, my dreams
Ooh, he wants to hear me scream

Welcome to the cubicle
It gets worse here every day
You learn to eat like an animal
Lunch in the cube every day
And, if you’ve got a hunger to climb the ladder
You’ll fall from it eventually
You can have any job you want
So long as you do the work of three

<Chorus: everyone now!>
In the cubicle, welcome to the cubicle
PTO’s what you’ll
Na na na need, need
He want’s to watch you plead

And, when you’re feelin proud
Coworkers will tear you down
So down, so down, so down, YEAHHHHH

You know where you are
You’re in the cubicle baby
Here’s where you’ll die
In the cubicle
Welcome to the cubicle
PTO’s what you’ll
Na na na need, need

In the cubicle
Welcome to the cubicle
My boss’ll break my, my, my dreams
In the cubicle
Welcome to the cubicle
PTO’s what you’ll
Na na na need, need

In the cubicle
Welcome to the cubicle
Watch the man
He’s gonna bring you down….HA!

Thank you, thank you…thank you very much!

About CubicleViews

Observations, thoughts & random bitching about cube life, food, beer, wine, whiskey and sometimes politics. Living the dream in a 6×8 doorless polyester walled cell.
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9 Responses to The death of being a rock star – welcome to the cubicle

  1. If I could I would put a picture of a lighter right here—> But sadly I don’t have the knowledge or ability to do that. So just know I am holding my lighter high in the air right now! Rock On!!!!

  2. This. Is. Awesome. In a former life this was considered the workplace theme song. And now I completely understand why!

  3. Carrie says:

    This shall be my departments new anthem :)

  4. Tom Nardone says:

    Hey that was great. I know this song so well i even did the guitar solo parts in my head. You were awesome bro and i will see you next tour.

  5. lablover22 says:

    I wish I had frighteningly tight pants on and was as skinny as a crackhead while I sang this. At a minimum Cousin It hair and a top Nat would have been nice luckily this song rocked on its own! Nicely done. Very nicely done.
    Vicky
    http://www.thepursuitofnormal.blogspot.com

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