When it comes to the holidays, “C” is for Clark

We have a number of Christmas traditions at Casa de CV. For example watching Christmas Vacation on Christmas Eve is a given no matter where we are for the holiday.

Another tradition, making the trek up into the mountains to chop down our own tree. Typically, its followed by the Mrs decorating the tree and me decorating the house. It’s reminiscent of the Griswold’s, just to a lesser extent…mostly.

Anyway, thought you might like the highlights from the CV Family Annual Tree Get and Decorate The House Day.

It started with an early (and quite cold morning by California standards) loading up the fam damily in the family truckster and heading up into the mountains. And, even though the farms up in the mountains provide you with a saw, I bring my own. Because a man just feels more like a man with his own saw.

  • As we hike the mountain, there’s the inevitable “Let’s just go a little further up the hill” comment.
  • Followed by, “How about this one?”
    “Nah. Let’s keep looking for a bit.”
  • “Honey, how about this one?”
    “No, you know I don’t like the big ones…that’s why I married you CV! Ha Ha Ha Ha”
    “Not funny.”
  • And, then we saw it. “This. Is. The. One.”
    Saw, saw, saw, saw, saw….TIMBER!
  • “Um Dad, do you think that’ll fit in the truck?”
    “Really? Have we ever had that problem before? Umm, don’t answer that.”

Upon arriving home, it’s now time for me to trim the tree to a precise height that, when in the heavy duty stand (I said doody), it is just short of the ceiling so the angle clears by a mere quarter inch. In other words, I need to cut typically about 3-4 feet off the bottom. More saw action.

  • Kid 2, “I like our tree this year, but I’d rather have a Charlie Brown tree.”
    “When you have your own family you can get whatever tree you want.” – Me

Now that the tree is up in the house. My indoor job is done. Time for the Mrs to do the boring critically important decorating of the tree. Me…I’m off to implement my degree in Exterior Illumination!

First things first. Gonna need me a few of these.

Creativity Enhancer

Creativity Enhancer

Next stop…box 1 of 2.

I swear I rolled these up carefully last year

I swear I rolled these up carefully last year

Given how carefully I put the mass amounts of lights away last year, I’m likely to need more of these.

3 boxes of 25 spares each. Prepared baby!

3 boxes of 25 spares each. Prepared baby!

OK, what could possibly go wrong combining having just downed beer (btw “beer” is plural), a two-story house, a ladder and 250 feet of extension cords?

Where the heck is the end of this mess?

I think I see the end of this mess!

Oops! Almost forgot this. Ba6073CCYAA2x9aWhy duct tape? Because no self respecting man would do ANY home project without it!

Flash forward a couple hours…

Stretch…I can…almost…reach…it…

Yes I need to clean the gutters...NEXT WEEK!

Yes I need to clean the gutters…NEXT WEEK!

With that it turns out that the “V” stands for VICTORY! And, I didn’t fall off the roof once!

Ba7R0TjCQAALNevP.S. I know you want to see the “whole thing”, but unfortunately, I can’t share it for fear of exposing my secret lair.

Merry Christmas (or Happy Holidays if that floats your boat better).

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About CubicleViews

Observations, thoughts & random bitching about cube life, food, beer, wine, whiskey and sometimes politics. Living the dream in a 6×8 doorless polyester walled cell.
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10 Responses to When it comes to the holidays, “C” is for Clark

  1. CV,
    That is beautiful. We too without fail for the past nine years have had that movie running on a loop all day long no matter who is there or who makes a phone call. We may decide to not pull the tree out one year, but Christmas Vacation is not up for negotiation. Congrats on your decor, and please I want you to have the hap hap happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap danced with Danny f ing Kay.

  2. Ned's Blog says:

    As I was watching from across the street (you didn’t know we are neighbors?), I thought to myself: “There he goes, shaming me with his light show again. Oh well, time to plug in Frosty.”
    Next year’ I’ll give you a hand.
    *applause*

    (By the way — well done, CV)

  3. Tricia says:

    Awesome and hilarious. I guest posted a Christmas Cast of Characters on a blog today – http://mommabethyname.com/2013/12/18/mommas-12-days-of-christmas-presents-the-christmas-cast-of-characters-by-tricia-of-stream-of-the-conscious/ – and your Griswold brethren live across the street from me as well.

    I’ll be citing your post as scientific proof of my own observations :)

    • CubicleViews says:

      Us Griswolds have a lot of descendants. Pretty sure we had 4 whole families on the Mayflower. Tell my uncle Jeb across the street from you, “yo, what up brutha and how bout them bears?” Actually, the bears suck. Tell him, “how bout them Blackhawks.”

    • CubicleViews says:

      Us Griswolds have a lot of descendants. Pretty sure we had 4 whole families on the Mayflower. Tell my uncle Jeb across the street from you, “yo, what up brutha and how bout them bears?” Actually, the bears suck. Tell him, “how bout them Blackhawks.”

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